The Perfect Match by Rose Annie J

Author:Rose, Annie J.
Language: eng
Format: epub
Published: 2019-03-05T05:00:00+00:00

Chapter 9

Clara

I woke up in bed with Adrian. I was sore in the best way and I needed a shower. I was sweating from the immense heat he seemed to generate with his broad, muscular body that enveloped me. I had never felt so cherished, had never been so thoroughly consumed in my life. I stretched like a cat, slithered out from under his arm, and helped myself to a long shower.

When I emerged, he was already out of bed, probably working out or in his office. I wandered downstairs in one of his t-shirts that he’d laid out on the bed for me and made a cup of coffee. The deck was a perfect spot to drink it, the salt breeze lifting my damp curls as I sat breathing the fragrant steam off my mug. I shut my eyes, all set to enjoy a languorous highlight reel of all the sex we’d had the night before. But my brain had other plans for me—replaying the humiliating dinner with Roger, the clammy hand he’d laid on my neck, the way he’d sized me up like something he might consider worth fucking if I pretended to like golf. I felt miserable, knowing I should have been straight with him. I should have said, “My app matches compatible subscribers using multiple metrics. It is not magical and can’t create a woman who likes your brand of ignorant bullshit. If you’re not interested in investing, then I can’t be bothered to hand-hold you through online dating. It would waste everyone’s time.”

It would’ve saved so much trouble if I’d only told him the truth. Which brought me face to face with my most significant failure in my effort to become a functioning adult. I lied to my mom, hid things from her, acted like a sneaky brat. I wanted to be a successful, independent businesswoman, but I wasn’t making choices that matched that goal.

I owed apologies to people. I owed it to myself to be better, stronger, to take responsibility for my own actions. It was like sleeping with Adrian had left me feeling reborn. I felt unworthy of the way he looked at me, the way he made me feel. I wanted to be the woman who could earn that kind of regard, that kind of intensity. Adrian was a man in every sense of the word, and I wasn’t prepared for a man like that.

So I sat on his deck and looked at his beautiful view, and felt farther from him than I had since we’d met. When I’d texted him from an ocean and a continent away, he’d felt more within reach than he seemed now. The seismic shift of taking him inside my body, of feeling that deep connection to him made me see with new eyes. I saw myself and felt real shame. He deserved someone miles above me. I wouldn’t be the one to drag him down. Not even if it meant losing him forever. I had to prove to myself I was strong, and I had to do the honorable thing for once in my spoiled life.

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